Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I know who the president of Turkey really is

What to know about Jeff Bezos' upcoming Venice wedding — and the protests against it - NPR

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

What is the dirtiest thing you have witnessed your wife do?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Major US retailers cancel Nintendo Switch 2 pre-orders - GamesIndustry.biz

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I can read

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Helen Hunt on why she's rejecting Hollywood beauty standards - USA Today

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Is marijuana bad for you?

I don’t cotton to rapists

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

What were the career paths of each member of "The Monkees" after the band disbanded? Did any of them have successful music careers?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

A Woman “Failed” to Break the Four-Minute Mile. But the Setup Was the Real Failure. - Slate Magazine

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I actually pay taxes

Have you been arrested or investigated?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

"Sixth sense" found in animals, changing science's view of sound - Earth.com

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Blink and your AI security playbook is out of date - Axios

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I have a reading level above third grade

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

NASA’s Curiosity Just Parked on Mars—And Made an Unprecedented Discovery - The Daily Galaxy

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I can count

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I have complete contempt for fakery

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I see through liars

I have complete contempt for traitorism

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I understand how hurricane paths work